What Does the Hadith Say About Behaviour in Marriage?

The Prophet said, "If anyone of you on having sexual relations with his wife said (and he must say it before starting) 'In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us from Satan and also protect what you bestow upon us (i.e. the coming offspring) from Satan, and if it is destined that they should have a child then, Satan will never be able to harm that offspring."

Allah's Apostle sent for a Ansari man who came with water dropping from his head. The Prophet said, "Perhaps we have forced you to hurry up, haven't we?" The Ansari replied, "Yes." Allah's Apostle further said, "If you are forced to hurry up (during intercourse) or you do not discharge then ablution is due on you (This order was cancelled later on, i.e. one has to take a bath).

I asked 'Uthman bin 'Affan about a man who engaged in the sexual intercourse with his wife but did not discharge. 'Uthman replied, "He should perform ablution like that for the prayer after washing his private parts." 'Uthman added, "I heard that from Allah's Apostle." I asked 'Ali bin Abi Talib, Az-Zubair bin Al-'Awwam, Talha bin 'Ubaidullah and Ubai bin Ka'b and a gave the same reply. (Abu Aiylub said that he had heard that from Allah's Apostle ) (This order was cancelled later on so one has to take a bath. See, Hadith No. 180).

A person asked me, "Can a woman in menses serve me? And can a Junub woman come close to me?" I replied, "All this is easy for me. All of them can serve me, and there is no harm for any other person to do the same. 'Aisha told me that she used to comb the hair of Allah's Apostle while she was in her menses, and he was in Itikaf (in the mosque). He would bring his head near her in her room and she would comb his hair, while she used to be in her menses."

The Prophet and I used to take a bath from a single pot while we were Junub. During the menses, he used to order me to put on an Izar (dress worn below the waist) and used to fondle me. While in Itikaf, he used to bring his head near me and I would wash it while I used to be in my periods (menses).

Um-Salama said, "I got my menses while I was lying with the Prophet under a woolen sheet. So I slipped away, took the clothes for menses and put them on. Allah's Apostle said, 'Have you got your menses?' I replied, 'Yes.' Then he called me and took me with him under the woolen sheet." Um Salama further said, "The Prophet used to kiss me while he was fasting. The Prophet and I used to take the bath of Janaba from a single pot."

Narrated 'Amr bin Dmar: I asked Ibn 'Umar, "Can a person who has performed the Tawaf around the Ka'ba for 'Umra but has not performed the (Sa'i) Tawaf of Safa and Marwa, have a sexual relation with his wife?" Ibn 'Umar replied "When the Prophet reached Mecca he performed the Tawaf around the Ka'ba (circumambulated it seven times) and offered a two-Rak'at prayer (at the place) behind the station (of Abraham) and then performed the Tawaf (Sa'i) of Safa and Marwa, and verily in Allah's Apostle you have a good example." Then we put the same question to Jabir bin 'Abdullah and he too replied, "He should not go near his wife (for sexual relation) till he has finished the Tawaf of Safa and Marwa."

Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah: The Prophet and his companions assumed Ihram for Hajj and none except the Prophet (p.b.u.h) and Talha had the Hadi (sacrifice) with them. 'Ali arrived from Yemen and had a Hadi with him. 'Ali said, "I have assumed Ihram for what the Prophet has done." The Prophet ordered his companions to perform the 'Umra with the lhram which they had assumed, and after finishing Tawaf (of Ka'ba, Safa and Marwa) to cut short their hair, and to finish their lhram except those who had Hadi with them. They (the people) said, "How can we proceed to Mina (for Hajj) after having sexual relations with our wives?" When that news reached the Prophet he said, "If I had formerly known what I came to know lately, I would not have brought the Hadi with me. Had there been no Hadi with me, I would have finished the state of lhram." 'Aisha got her menses, so she performed all the ceremonies of Hajj except Tawaf of the Ka'ba, and when she got clean (from her menses), she performed Tawaf of the Ka'ba. She said, "O Allah's Apostle! (All of you) are returning with the Hajj and 'Umra, but I am returning after performing Hajj only." So the Prophet ordered 'Abdur-Rahman bin Abu Bakr to accompany her to Tan'im and thus she performed the 'Umra after the Hajj.

Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah: I was with the Prophet in a Ghazwa (Military Expedition) and my camel was slow and exhausted. The Prophet came up to me and said, "O Jabir." I replied, "Yes?" He said, "What is the matter with you?" I replied, "My camel is slow and tired, so I am left behind." So, he got down and poked the camel with his stick and then ordered me to ride. I rode the camel and it became so fast that I had to hold it from going ahead of Allah's Apostle . He then asked me, have you got married?" I replied in the affirmative. He asked, "A virgin or a matron?" I replied, "I married a matron." The Prophet said, "Why have you not married a virgin, so that you may play with her and she may play with you?" Jabir replied, "I have sisters (young in age) so I liked to marry a matron who could collect them all and comb their hair and look after them." The Prophet said, "You will reach, so when you have arrived (at home), I advise you to associate with your wife (that you may have an intelligent son)." Then he asked me, "Would you like to sell your camel?" I replied in the affirmative and the Prophet purchased it for one Uqiya of gold. Allah's Apostle reached before me and I reached in the morning, and when I went to the mosque, I found him at the door of the mosque. He asked me, "Have you arrived just now?" I replied in the affirmative. He said, "Leave your camel and come into (the mosque) and pray two Rakat." I entered and offered the prayer. He told Bilal to weigh and give me one Uqiya of gold. So Bilal weighed for me fairly and I went away. The Prophet sent for me and I thought that he would return to me my camel which I hated more than anything else. But the Prophet said to me, "Take your camel as well as its price."

Narrated Ibn Muhairiz: I entered the Mosque and saw Abu Said Al-Khudri and sat beside him and asked him about Al-Azl (i.e. coitus interruptus). Abu Said said, "We went out with Allah's Apostle for the Ghazwa of Banu Al-Mustaliq and we received captives from among the Arab captives and we desired women and celibacy became hard on us and we loved to do coitus interruptus. So when we intended to do coitus interrupt us, we said, 'How can we do coitus interruptus before asking Allah's Apostle who is present among us?" We asked (him) about it and he said, 'It is better for you not to do so, for if any soul (till the Day of Resurrection) is predestined to exist, it will exist."

Narrated 'Aisha: Regarding the Verse:--"If a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part." (4.128) It is about a man who has a woman (wife) and he does not like her and wants to divorce her but she says to him, "I make you free as regards myself." So this Verse was revealed in this connection.

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his neighbor. And I advise you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of the women."

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar: The Prophet said, "Everyone of you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for his wards). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible(for his subjects); a man is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of you are guardians and are responsible (for your wards)."

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband)."

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "It is not lawful for a lady to fast (Nawafil) without the permission of her husband when he is at home; and she should not allow anyone to enter his house except with his permission; and if she spends of his wealth (on charitable purposes) without being ordered by him, he will get half of the reward."

Narrated Jabir: We used to practice coitus interrupt us while the Quran was being revealed. Jabir added: We used to practice coitus interrupt us during the lifetime of Allah's Apostle while the Quran was being Revealed.

Narrated Anas: It is the Prophet's tradition that if someone marries a virgin and he has already a matron wife then he should stay for seven days with her (the virgin) and then by turns; and if someone marries a matron and he has already a virgin wife then he should stay with her (the matron) for three days, and then by turns.

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud: The Prophet said, "A woman should not look at or touch another woman to describe her to her husband in such a way as if he was actually looking at her."

Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah: The Prophet said, "If you enter (your town) at night (after coming from a journey), do not enter upon your family till the woman whose husband was absent (from the house) shaves her pubic hair and the woman with unkempt hair, combs her hair" Allah's Apostle further said, "(O Jabir!) Seek to have offspring, seek to have offspring!"

Narrated 'Ikrima: Rifa'a divorced his wife whereupon 'AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. 'Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, 'Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" When 'AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, 'Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa'a." Allah's Apostle said, to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa'a unless Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." Then the Prophet saw two boys with 'Abdur-Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that 'AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"